


Never Again

by Caroaimezoe



Series: Leo's week [2]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Bay Movies), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Turtlecest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 11:04:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15580560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caroaimezoe/pseuds/Caroaimezoe
Summary: Second entry for 'Everybody wants Leo' week. Day two: Donatello!!~~Winner in the Universal TMNT Fanfiction Competition 2018: (Mature Ballot) Sexiest Donnie 3rd Place; ~~!!





	Never Again

**Author's Note:**

> Each story of this week would have an open-ending. I will continue the more loved one. Still not an English speaker.

_Everybody wants Leo‘s week,_  
_Day two: Donatello_

**Never again**

_Universe: Bay movie_

  
Leo had done it again. With trembling arms, for the third time in a row, Donnie was trying to thread the needle.

Leonardo had done it again.

Donnie bit his lip, trying, through physical pain, to distract his thoughts from the inescapable fact.

His mahogany eyes filled with tears, blurring his vision and preventing him, again, from threading it. Donatello was a scientist. He must not let his emotions prevail over his reason and stop him from doing his duty as their doctor. But the fact was, his mind could not stand this glaring truth.

Leonardo had no consideration for his own survival, and so that meant it probably wouldn’t be the last time he would lie motionless in Donatello’s lab. And so, Don had to brace himself for all the next times.

But another, more vital evidence appeared before his distraught eyes. Leo needed his wound to be stitched before the bleeding became fatal.

"Focus, Donnie, focus. You have done this countless times. Today is no different than any other day. That is Leonardo who is lying here must not upset you more. Leo has already been hurt many times in the past. You can do this," he told himself.

The fact is he was upset for two reasons.

First of all, Leonardo's wounds were never insignificant, because of their history or their nature. Raph was most often injured by his quarrelsome character, Mikey by his inadvertence. But, Leonardo wounds were often out of sacrifice. And a sacrifice was never benign by definition and too often, in gravity.

This time the blade had slipped so close to the vital organs that if Donatello had hair, it would have been bristling on his head. Yes, Leo's wounds were critical, and he needed to stitch them now.

This was the first reason. The second was that... for some time already, Leo had taken another aspect in his eyes.

The change had been initially subtle. One morning, Leo had smiled at Donnie, coming out of the shower, humming a tune, and heading to the kitchen for tea. Donnie had felt a warmth filling him. Leo's humming was soothing, as the scent of lemon and bergamot of his morning tea. The smile he gave him before passing him, greeting him, was reassuring and Donnie was surprised by the wish to snuggle against him.

The feeling was still fraternal, so Donatello chose not to grant it more thought. Leonardo was a valuable leader, an impressive ninja, and a caring elder brother, that Donatello appreciated his reassuring presence was normal. Maybe today, he was just in a good mood.

He pushed the sensation of warmth in his belly, to the back of his mind, despite the fact that the same feeling recurred with each appearance of Leonardo, much to Donnie’s great wonder. He did not feel the same with his other siblings at all, and Leo was doing nothing out of the ordinary either.

Then, after weeks of thinking too hard about it, the evidence banged into him one afternoon in the Dojo.

Leo had just sent him to the mat by way of a powerful roundhouse kick. Pinning him with his heavier weight and wearing a ludicrous smile on his lips, Leo made him a remark about how daydreaming about chemicals or motors was not helping Donatello in the Dojo. But Donnie was not listening, because he was trying to get out of his submissive position.

The heat coming from Leonardo was making him all fuzzy, and he needed to get up before something happened. But he failed miserably, too distracted and helpless against this hot weight. It was delightfully enticing, and Don struggled between letting go and embarrassing himself, or to running and locking himself in his lab. He had to act like nothing was wrong, but how he could achieve that with his flushed flesh and his obvious boner?

Donatello tried some breathing exercises Master Splinter had taught them.

_Close your eyes. Breathe in. Imagine the air is filled with a sense of peace and calm. Try to feel it throughout your body. Breathe out, imagine the air leaves with your stress and tension._

Donnie take three more full, deep breaths until he felt more in control of his own body.

But even when Leo rose, the sapphire eyes kept him pinned to the mat, leaving him with no desire to escape. The charm was broken by their Sensei, who proposed a change of partner.

Donatello found himself on the floor every time, regardless of the partner, and for the same reason. He felt the presence of Leonardo, always seeing him in periphery a jade body and a blue bandana. And it was as if his body had become unhinged by the presence of his brother in the same room as him. He felt like the needle of a compass, wanting, out of control, to point to his magnetic north. He wanted to watch Leo. He needed to look at Leo. And even more, he wanted Leo to notice his existence too.

Donnie was not a fool. He never denied the obvious, especially when certain physiological signs, such as those he had begun to feel, in his lower regions that day at the Dojo, supported the theory.

He was physically and romantically attracted to his brother.

Had it just been one of the two, it might have been bearable, but Donnie could not fight both his heart and his body. Drawn just emotionally, he could have concealed his feelings under the guise of brotherly love. Physically, he could have found a substitute or an outlet. But the combination of both led him to a final verdict.

Donatello was in love with his brother and wanted to express this passion physically, which backed him into a corner or a very easily expecting disaster. Because it was apparent to Donatello that the feeling only went one way, and so, it was unlikely Leo would accept any relationship of this kind with his brother.

Dealing with this disturbing discovery and hiding the evidence had kept Donnie exhausted for more than a month. Likewise, he had to find new excuses to explain his lack of concentration and the degradation of his Dojo combat techniques.

Although Donnie suggested to Master Splinter that he could be much more useful to his brothers in technological support rather than as ninja, and that other responsibilities more critical than the ninjutsu required his attention, their Sensei was not convinced and refused to cut him any slack.

And tonight, Leonardo, pale, was bleeding to death on the narrow cot in his laboratory. And it was entirely his fault.

In the middle of the fight against the Foot, Donnie had been surprised to find himself mesmerized by Leo's appearance under the moon's silver sheen, with his shimmering katanas and his skin taking gemstone intonations in the moonbeam.

He looked like a warrior icon, worshiped by an unknown tribe in far-off Amazonia with his stretched and lively eyes and his flexible body. He found a barbarous but enticing poem in each of Leonardo's gestures, and he was there, gaping and swooning, staring at the sweat drop running down these powerful thighs, not seeing the enemy behind him.

Leonardo had seen him and had taken the katana shot in his place, pushing Donnie out of reach.

Donnie refused to panic, although his whole body was already, his fingers trembling while he was still trying awkwardly to thread the needle Maybe he should call someone to do it for him because he was no longer suitable for anything anymore.

_Close your eyes. Breathe in. Imagine the air is filled with a sense of peace and calm. Try to feel it throughout your body. Breathe out, imagine the air leaves with your stress and tension._

He took a last breath, opened his eyes and nearly weeping with delight as the thread moved into the small eye of the needle. Donatello was glad Leonardo, still unconscious, and had not been able to witness all this miserable demonstration of gross incompetence. He could not live with Leonardo’s contempt.

When he finally finished, he looked at his work.

There would be a scar. And every time Donnie puts his eyes, guilty with desire, on the athletic body of his brother, this mark would be there to call him down, reminding him how his lust had almost cost the life of his beloved.

 _Never again,_ he promised himself.

He looked at the marmoreal face of his brother, carved in the purest jade, his beautiful almond eyes, closed. Never again would such an opportunity arise.

Driven by an instinct stronger than his reason, he kissed the slightly parted lips, as if they were waiting for this kiss, like a sleeping cursed Prince. Don broke the contact quickly, not even lingering long enough to know the exact taste of his brother’s lips. It was better this way, to not crave it later and he chastised himself for this unprofessional act, so untimely and immoral.

To take advantage of the unconsciousness of his brother, to desecrate his purity, indulging in his guilty desires was sinful. Moreover, he was the one who, by his incompetence, had plunged the leader into this critical state. How he could dare tainted an unconscious Leo with his incestuous touch?

He took another shaky breath, and a sigh escaped his lips.

Donnie stood up and went to fetch Mikey.

He was not worthy of watching over his eldest brother. Unworthy of esteem, trust, and even brotherly love. Donnie gave one last look, heavy with regret and desire. His forbidden passion had led his brother to the gates of death. And as many times as he tried to thread the needle, he repeated to himself:

_Never again._


End file.
